On The Road Again

One month later.....

The month of July felt like an intensive boot camp of friendships, family, and community. Between a week in Vancouver, 9 days in Seattle, and 18 days in Minnesota with my family, we happily got to see many, many of the people we love and cherish- some of whom we haven’t seen since we left the U.S. two years ago. (If you’re reading this and we didn’t get to see you, I am /we are so sorry- we did our best!)

Being surrounded by so much love was both nourishing and overwhelming. Returning to the Pacific Northwest was bittersweet. Neither of us have a single regret for the adventure that we’re on, but that doesn’t mean we don’t miss our beloved communities that we’ve built, both separately and together, over our decades in Seattle.

A solid month in the U.S. also gave us time to reflect on the past two years. After 18 months in Ecuador and the 6 months of travel that's followed, we agree that living outside the United States is sometimes isolating, occasionally lonely, often exciting, frequently full of the unexpected, and quite frankly, always a tad exhausting.

As we arrive in each place, we’re first busy crossing our fingers that our two suitcases made it and that we can figure out how to get to the temporary rental that we’ve reserved… all while hoping said rental had accurate pictures online and that there isn’t a disco downstairs.  Next, we need to learn where things are (markets, pharmacies, etc.), how the apartment works (where does the trash go? Is there more than one set of sheets? Can we flush toilet paper in this town? [sadly, most often the answer is no]), how public transit works (and whether the schedule is accurate, a guideline, or a mockery of timekeeping), and what etiquette is polite and what is not... because what's considered the height of politeness in one place can be considered highly rude in the next.

On top of that, the Spanish language spoken in each location can vary greatly. Do people use ‘buenos dias’ all day, or just in the morning? Is ‘hola’ an informal and generally accepted ‘hello’, or is it disrespectful unless between close friends?  Is ‘chico/chica’ meant for young people only, or can you use them with anyone? Does this damn country use ‘Vosotros’?!?!? And maybe most importantly, does ‘bolsa’ mean a plastic bag you might receive at the grocery store or farmacia, or did I just ask the clerk for a specific part of the male reproductive anatomy (which is also a bag… or, ahem… a sac)?

A writer Erik follows just published a great essay, titled “The Agony of Being Not Quite Bilingual”, which really encapsulates our experience of constantly being 'strangers in a strange land'.  He highlights the social and intellectual limitations that occur when one knows the language functionally, but not (yet) fluently. Constantly having to work at this thing, constantly having to make mistakes (which is challenging for a perfectionist like me), and being reminded daily that I am not an expert in anything in the culture I’m living in, provides ample opportunity for acceptance, patience, and (when I’m practicing those first two things) growth.

But despite these challenges, here we are, on the road again, having just arrived in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. Because frankly, we’ve gotten used to it. Maybe it’s fun to feel the relief as I see both of our suitcases come down the little conveyor belt at the airport. Maybe it feels like a victory when I can have a conversation with the taxi driver taking us to our apartment (or perhaps he’s humoring me… but really… who cares?).  It definitely IS delightful when we arrive at an apartment like the one I’m currently sitting in while writing this… one that’s clean, cute, has decent sheets and towels, and is almost 800 square feet, which at this point feels quite large. ...Though, no, we can’t flush the toilet paper.

Or maybe we just do it for the tacos. That's probably what it is.